This post will seem awkward. I guess most confessions would sound awkward.
Recently, I entered into a meeting without adequate preparation. For someone like me who intends to (I use intends to after careful thought – it seems like a work in progress after this incident) value others’ time, I went into this by being over-confident and cocky. And it showed – I wasn’t sure of some of the things spoken about and couldn’t answer or get into some of the queries in that discussion. It was incredibly embarrassing and I have only myself to blame for this epic lapse of diligence.
There’s no material loss as a result, but the way I behaved gnaws me endlessly. Result? This post.
I believe I’m in no position to advise others on this, but I could at least write about it in the hope that others (and myself) remember this as a lesson in how not to interact with people.
While I cannot disclose more facts about this incident (the other person(s)’s privacy is in question), I’d simply say that I was a horrendously lousy participant in this meeting.
Where did I go wrong? The irony is that I knew what had to be done to prepare myself for this – heck, I tell others how to go about it. And here I find myself in an instance where I haven’t listened to myself!
I could find a 100 reasons for why I behaved that way – not being adequately interested in it is a starting point, but they are just reasons I cook up to justify my behavior. If the other person(s) has (have) taken the time to go through it, there’s no reason why I should have (a) cancelled the meeting or (b) go into it well prepared.
The so-called preparation was not a big effort either – it is a matter of 5-10 minutes of browsing online! And I couldn’t find in my head any reason why I didn’t get past that simple exercise of research to value the other person’s time!
I did say there wasn’t any material loss, but what really matters – at least to me – in this instance, is the perceived loss of reputation. Loss of reputation need not always be with hundreds or thousands of people; it could even be with just one person/few people who matter. Isn’t that what social media has taught us anyway?
I can only kick myself inside my head for this. But, every such instance – hope I don’t head into one more meeting like this again – is a lesson that will be hard to forget. The more damaging it is to your ego and the more embarrassed you feel… the more I think I will remember its lessons.
That is… to be appropriately prepared for any meeting – with one person, or few… or many people.
To take the effort of researching on the person or people you would be meeting – their agenda, your agenda and so on. Basically sort it inside your head on why you intend to spend time on that discussion.
To not let age, assumed maturity, so-called ‘client’ status (as opposed to an almost servile ‘agency’ status), current position in life/career, so-called experience and other pointless tags to come in the way of ascertaining the importance of a meeting… any meeting.
Lesson learnt, the hard way, thanks to one meeting that went awry. Never again.